And I’ve never been having more fun in my life than I am NOW!!

One reason: Jesus Lifehouse Church!!!!

Birthdays are always fun and something to celebrate (no matter what age you may be!), but this birthday was EXTRA SPECIAL!!

In the morning, I got to celebrate May 22nd with my AMAZING friends Tobacchi and Yukiko – why?
BECAUSE….they got married!!!

They were the CUTEST, CUTEST couple!!

The wedding was awesome, full of joy and laughter…and even a few tears as people were moved by the beautiful ceremony and the strong, pure love that these two share for each other!

These two met and fell in love at JLH (Jesus Lifehouse) and their love is so amazing, pure and, well, like a fairytale…because it was scripted by the author of love, Jesus Christ <3

At JLH, the atmosphere is just SO amazing – it’s like we are one big family – we all just love one another so much and it’s amazing to be able to come together on special days (like weddings) and celebrate together!!

And something about that day really touched my heart….it was Yuki-chan and Tobacchi’s BIG DAY and the Happy Couple were so busy greeting and thanking everyone…and yet, with just so much love, the Beautiful Couple made sure to take a moment to wish me a HAPPY BIRTHDAY – they are so sweet, kind and always giving – that is the HEART of Japanese people! – and I felt overwhelmed and thankful at the amount of LOVE that abounds in our Beautiful Church Family!!! Thank-you so much, Mr and Mrs Takayuki Toba (A.K.A. Tobacchi!!)

In the afternoon, after an amazing and very memorable wedding ceremony, everybody headed off in different directions to have fun in Our Beloved City, Tokyo!! That’s one of my favourite things about JLH – there’s ALWAYS something going on!! Some went to karaoke, others out for Ladies’ Afternoon Tea, other just chilled out and enjoyed the GORGEOUS SUMMER WEATHER!!

I was super blessed to be able to spend the afternoon with SUCH amazing friends….and as we said our congrats and catch-you-laters to Tobacchi and Yuki-chan, we were full of excitement at what that evening would hold…

We all hopped with enthusiasm onto the train and headed off to Tokyo International Forum in Tokyo where the heat outside was magnified inside!!

What on earth was going on inside, you must wonder??

PASSION WORLD TOUR 2010!!!!!

Chris Tomlin sang up a storm as thousands of Japanese youth (and some from other countries!!!) danced, clapped, sang and just LOVED God over a three-and-a-half hour conference that brought joy, laughter, tears and MUCH MORE!! Hope, inspiration, passion…it was truly a life-changing night!!!

As we left the venue, we were full of excitement, joy, love and just…well, we were on such a HIGH!! Life is just SO fun and I felt so blessed and amazed to be able to be surrounded by love on my birthday in a country that I’ve come to know as home!!

So, it was natural that, being at home in My Darling Japan with My Amazing JLH Family, we would want to celebrate a family meal – and that was just what we did!! Hungry from all that dancing and singing, we all headed off to Kua Aina, a fantastic burger place in the Marunouchi Building, near Tokyo Station!

http://www.marunouchi.com/marubiru/english/01_shop/restaurant.html

There, my FABULOUS friends shouted me to dinner and sang a beautiful rendition of Happy Birthday – thanks so much, Guys – LOVE YOU!!!

Though we are from all corners of the globe, we are ONE – one family, one love, one purpose and one life FILLED with joy and lived together!! I’m so thankful to God, who created and embodies the word FAMILY, that I belong to this awesome, crazy, international family!! JLH, I love you!!!

Sound like fun?

Well, here’s the great news…we are always looking to adopt!!! Seriously though, if you have some free time and are looking for a little fun, why don’t you come hang out and enjoy some great company, a lot of laughter and, of course, in the Land of Japan…there’s gotta be FOOD!!!

Getting to our CITY Services in Akasaka (Saturday & Sunday)

DIRECTIONS
From Tamikesanno Station Exit 9, Cross Roppongi Dori, turn right, and soon turn left at Tameike Pharmacy (just after the Lawson Convenience Store), the building is not far on the right. Less than a 2 min walk. Still lost? Watch this short video!

Getting to our WEDNESDAY Teaching Service

7:15PM at the Yokohama Media and Communications Center, right above Nihon-Odori Station, 6F!

]]> http://pwnickydesu.wordpress.com/2010/05/28/the-recipe-for-an-amazing-birthday/feed/ 0 pwnickydesu Yuki Tobacchi Joy Cute Couple Two! Wedding Joy! Grateful Hearts! JLH Boys! JLH Ladies Sisters! Cute Couple! Amazing Friends 1 Tokyo International Forum!! Passion World Tour 2010 Passion!! On Fire 2! Amazing Friends 2 B-Day Dinner! On Fire 1! Tameike.i.softbank Ochanomizu.i.softbank Yokohama.i.softbank http://pwnickydesu.wordpress.com/2010/05/17/sunday-sunny-day-super-day/ http://pwnickydesu.wordpress.com/2010/05/17/sunday-sunny-day-super-day/#comments Mon, 17 May 2010 08:29:08 +0000 pwnickydesu http://pwnickydesu.wordpress.com/?p=153 ]]> Yesterday at Church was an AMAZING day!!!!

Not only was the music just wonderful!! The messages, too, were so awesome!!!

11AM – Pastor Paolos –> Protecting Your Heart from Greed!!

We had a guest speaker from Indonesia, Pastor Paolos, and his wife visiting us at JLH!! It was AAAAAAAAWWWWEEESSSOOOMMMMEEE!!! He spoke about protecting our hearts against greed, because it’s kind of like a disease that, once it gets into your heart, will destroy and isolate you – God give us everything so generously and all He asks is that we pass it on!!!

Makes sense right!! If someone did something nice, like maybe baked a cake for your birthday and then, come another friend’s birthday, you decided not to bake a cake, cos you didn’t have the time or money…well, it’s not really paying it forward, is it?

Anyway, the point of Paolos message was very simple: GIVE!!!!

It got me thinking…

We often get so caught up in our lives, thinking, I have no money, I CAN’T give – yesterday, I learned to be very careful before I go making statements like that – I have SO much!! Don’t you??

So…if you have the chance, just GIVE to others!! Remember…giving isn’t only about money – it’s about time, love, prayer…!! We have so many opportunities to do things for others! Reading this, I hope you won’t feel overcome with a sense of guilt about being selfish – no! See it as an exciting and encouraging motivation to start giving to others!! I tell ya, it’s the best high in the world, to selflessly give of yourself!! And God sees and will give back…more than our minds could ever comprehend!!

4PM – Pastor Rod –> Change – Stronger or Weaker?

Pastor Rod spoke about how, in our lives, we are always changing – in our jobs, relationships, and well…in everything!! The question is, in what direction are you moving? Are you getting stronger? Or weaker?

If I’ve learned anything in the few (wonderful) years that I’ve been at JLH, it’s that your DECISIONS are so, so, so, so, so important – they really will change the course of your life!!

Talking from the Bible, Pastor Rod summarised the life stories of two kings of…Judah (or Judea…?). Their names were Saul and, his successor, David. These two guys had a lot in common! They were both strong warriors and both had been chosen by God! Although they both rose to the position of King over the people, they were both from unimportant, obscure backgrounds and both had weaknesses – they were really no different from you or I…ordinary people, given authority to do great things by an extraordinary power!!

Sounds like their two lives were just a repetition of the same story, right?

Wrong!

David went down in history as one of the great heroes of his time – a King who did amazing things and whose legacy left a lasting impact! He was, to sum it up in one word (and pretty much my favorite word), AWESOME!!!

Saul, on the other hand was….kind-of, well, a bit of….a prize fool! He DIDN’T make good decisions and as a result, was a terrible leader in the end. So much so that he was forcibly ejected from his position of King and was replaced by David – he didn’t take it lying down either…he was slightly put out, to say the least – in fact, he tried to kill David! (The Old Testament is full of stories like these – they read like a modern day drama, but teach like the best educator!! Pretty awesome reading really!)

So…what was different, then? How did one King go one way (up and up and up!!) and the other, well…NOT up?

Saul – a man of fear, fearful of men’s opinions, and yet, relying on them to guide him through life – made dum decisions, based on the wisdom of people which…well, can be subjective and at times, NOT wisdom at all!! He was gifted, for sure, but lacked the integrity to apply these gifts in a way that had any impact – his words and actions didn’t often match – and on top of this, when he did screw things up, he then did something that we’ve all been guilty of at some stage (I know I have!!) – he looked for where to put the blame and put it anywhere but where it really belonged – on himself!!

David – he didn’t care what people thought – but there was one opinion that he sought above all else – and that was God’s! When he made a mistake, he went to God and prayed a very simple prayer: “HELP!”

When he did something stupid and things went pear-shaped, he went to GOD and said, “Dad, I messed up. I’m sorry. Can you fix it?” – And god honoured his humility and integrity!

So…who do you think is the best role model for your life? Saul, who got weaker and weaker? Or David, who just grew in strength?
Follow his example to be the best you can be and have the best life EVER!!!

5:30PM – Shinsuke –> Keep It Simple!

The last message of the day was delivered with passion and overflowing excitement, and was remarkably simple – keep your LIFE simple!!

Humans…we have an overwhelming ability to think, analyse, act, and react! And it’s not always good…

How many times have you, facing an issue, a hard time, a problem…reacted by thinking, and then thinking some more…and then some?? Until you have driven yourself half mad, and have reached a point where your thoughts, sub-thoughts and the little trails of thought have led you into a knot of thoughts, anxieties, speculations and fears that are just…crippling?? I know I’ve done that! And the only way I’ve gotten out is to stop and think: “Hey, actually…it’s okay.”

Shinsuke gave us a few bits of advice for how to keep your life simple:

1. Identity your priorities – what’s important to you? Think about these things and put energy into these – think the right thoughts – good thoughts, joyful thoughts, thankful thoughts, HAPPY thoughts, kind thoughts, loving thoughts, giving thoughts!

2. Cut the crap –> take out the stuff that isn’t important and that isn’t going to help you – I don’t think you’ll find a person in the world who could actually, seriously argue that negative thinking has been proven to be productive, helpful, or therapeutic! So…why bother with it? Your mind and heart are too precious to bother with that!

3. Decide to do something – and do it! Don’t decide you want to change and pencil “changing” into your appointment diary for Wednesday next week – do it now and do it quick – a split-second decision is all it takes – following through can be more of a process – but if you try, you’ll actually find it’s easy, effective and, well, better for you then a month at the world’s top health spa! Make over your mind and you won’t regret it!

Finally…there was one analogy that Shinsuke used to talk about having a simple thought life, leading to a simple overall life – be childlike! Doesn’t mean you have to act like one, throwing tantrums or spilling ice-cream down your front…but, THINK like a child – their faith, their purity of heart, their simplicity never fails to amaze me – they take things at face value and never feel the need to over-analyse! Children can make simple decisions and follow through on them. Cliched as it may sound, we can learn a lot from kids!

I had the best day yesterday – it was the kind of beautiful, sunny day that makes you feel light as a feather! And thanks to the awesome messages at JLH yesterday, my heart felt light, free, and liberated! I love Church! It’s so uplifting!!

To hear more of these messages and more, check out http://www.jesuslifehouse.tv/

I guess life distracted me and I forgot to update my blog, but I want to get back to doing that because I want to share with friends, family, and anyone else all that my life holds, and all that I’m blessed to see, hear, feel, experience, do and receive!!

And because I want to share about my Greatest Love, Jesus, My Best Friend, My Saviour, My First Love, My All…you might not know Him and maybe you aren’t interested…but please just read it and enjoy and I hope my words touch you!!

I just want to share a little of what’s on my heart right now, because it’s something that is just bursting out, something that I can’t keep in:

LIFE!!!!!

IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And it just keeps getting better…sounds like a 70s rocky kinda love song!!

But seriously though…let me tell you why

In honesty, I’ve had a hard few months…details aren’t really necessary, suffice to say that I was in a relationship and then that ended.

I really wanna share a few quick sentences about what I was feeling initially (when that happened) simply because I want to reach out to others in the same situation and share how I dealt and how God rescued and healed me!!

At first…I was mad. At myself for not being able to make it work and for the dumb mistakes I’d made. But even more so at God, for “taking that from me”…how wrong was I?!

You see, God didn’t take it from me – life just happens and we can spend our days looking for someone to blame or we can reflect and think, “What did I learn from this?”

And I learned two very important and invaluable lessons!! You wanna hear them? If  not, stop reading, cos I’m gonna tell you anyway

A) God does not CAUSE bad things to happen. They just do. But they ARE a chance to trust in Him, to grow, to get stronger and to rely on Him!

B) We don’t have the past. We have today and we have the future, and that’s exciting, because I really believe that He will be there!! For anyone and everyone. He just loves us, one and all!!

God’s grace and mercy are always present and available in abundant amounts, but…we have to be willing to receive it and that means letting go of the past and of hurt, so He can come in and heal our hearts!!!

So easy and simple, isn’t it?

But hey…the best things in life are free, and freedom is one of the best things in life.

Freedom is here Please check out this song, if you have a moment – I truly love it and think it’s just AWESOME!! (That’s one of my fave words…haha, can you tell?!)

That even though we may have gotten lost and taken our eyes off Him and focused on finding things to fulfill us here on earth, His grace is beyond sufficient.

When I couldn’t rescue myself, He rescued me.

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” – Psalm 147:3

I found love. Love that sustains me. Always and forever. He is mine and I am His. My Jesus, My All.

God bless you all, Guys!!

Love Always, Nicky xxoo

“Because this is so true, we must have a measure of beauty in our lives proportionate to our affliction … No, more, much more. Is not this God’s prescription for us? Just take a look around. The sights and sounds, the aromas and sensations – the world is overflowing with beauty. God seems to be rather enamored with it. Gloriously wasteful. Apparently, He feels that there ought to be plenty of it in our lives.

Our experience of beauty transcends our ability to speak about it, for its magic lies beyond the power of words.

Beauty … heals, stirs us, moves and inspires. Lift any obstacle you may have to filling your life with greater and greater amounts of beauty.

Beauty is the closest thing we have to fullness without “possessing” on this side of eternity. Perhaps that is why it is so healing - beauty is pure gift.”

John Eldredge

A Father’s Gift

Tonight, I was walking home and feeling kinda sad…I didn’t know why and I knew that I didn’t know, so wasn’t seeking a reason behind the season. Pretty much because, being a woman, I know how fickle our emotions can be and knew that there was no real cause, other than the cycle of emotion that humans are prone to being caught up in.

So, knowing all this, I was trying to simply say, “NO!” to that sadness.
Listening to Christian music on my MP3 player, I was focusing my energies on thinking about Jesus and His goodness.

“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.” (Philippians 4:8)

Still struggling, my eyes suddenly turned upward, towards the night sky, and I was struck by the beautiful deep blue colour of the heavens by night.

God often shows His beauty to me through the sky and I feel that this is His way of romancing me, knowing how much I appreciate, and adore, this aspect of His creation.

Looking at the sky tonight, my eyes searched for the luminescent moon, a sight that never fails to speak into my heart how deep God’s beauty is. I couldn’t see it, and then realised that it was hidden by clouds.

At that moment….a thought came to me out of nowhere…or from somewhere (dare you to believe it was from above!): “Just because you can’t see God, it doesn’t mean He isn’t there.”

On the contrary, throughout His Word, He promises time and time again that He is always with us and will never leave us. (Joshua 1:5)

Thinking about this, and listening to a favourite song of mine, “In You,” I focused on the lyrics as I gazed up at the sky:

“So close I believe,

you’re holding me now,

in your arms I belong,

you’ll never let me go…”

I walked on a little further, and after a minute or two, I realised that my heart felt light and that God’s peace was upon me. At that same moment, I looked up…

And there above me shone the moon, in all of its brilliant glory, pale yellow, yet shining so bright, a beacon of God’s love.

And a Scripture came into my heart at that moment:

“I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.” (John 14:18)

In this dream, I guess we were on some kind of overnight trip, and this theme park was also a campground or something.

Flash forward to the middle of the night (still in the dream), and we were all awake, having decided to get up in the middle of the night to ride that one attraction that we’d missed during the day. The name of the attraction was, “Gold Rush,” (a ride at Auckland’s theme park, Rainbow’s End – I LOVE this ride – it’s kinda similar to Big Thunder Mountain at Disneyland).  So, there we all were, at the site of the attraction, in the dark of the night (though I guess we must’ve had torches (flashlights) or something…), trying to get it to start so we could get what we wanted: a chance to take the ride, a little bit of extra excitement that we were trying to inject into our lives!!

Suddenly….

The lights came on. The camp organisers/managers, our leaders, had arrived!!! Big trouble, right?

Wrong. They had decided to bless us by letting us ride that very same attraction in the middle of the night, and had come to get the ride started. But when they arrived, there we were, trying to get the blessing for ourselves, trying to obtain what they already wanted to give to us.

We didn’t get in trouble, though you’d think we would’ve. Despite our attempts to get for ourselves what they had wanted to surprise (and delight) us with, they simply went ahead with their plans to bless us, and we got what we’d all been seeking: a chance to ride the, “Gold Rush,” attraction!!

Waking up the next day, I instantly forgot about the dream and went about my day. It wasn’t until later that night that I had a crashing revelation of what it had meant….at the time that this realisation hit me, I’d been thinking about what many girls are often thinking about: boy stuff!!

I’d been thinking about God’s plans for me and how He has promised me a prince:

“Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass … Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for Him.” (Psalm 37:4,7)

(That’s another thing to note: He (God) says, “Wait patiently on me.”)

It was in the midst of my thoughts on God’s plan for my life and my musings of, “神様、だれかな？？” (“God, who is it gonna be??”), that an understanding hit me, of what God had been telling me through this dream:

“You don’t need to go out and get the things that you desire in your heart, because I already want to give them to you, and I’m going to do so.”

What words of amazing comfort to the heart of a woman?? Don’t we all wonder, Single  Girls, who we will marry? For some of us, it can be a cause of distress, others just a matter of pondering, but it’s definitely a question that has crossed our minds…and there, in the subconscious state of dreamland, lay a resolution, if not yet an answer: Just wait and see.

And I will. Who’s with me?

I came home last night and nearly cried out of thankfulness. My room mate, Kat, had left a 10,000 yen bill on my desk as a parting gift (she’d left for Canada that day, to study at university or college). I was so overwhelmed, both by her generosity and by the heart behind her giving spirit, at the centre of which is Jesus. Given that He was the “root cause”, so to speak, of that occurence, I was inevitably also grateful to God, for providing for me in a time of need.

Now, I really shouldn’t be too much in need, given that, according to past blog entries, I work a full time job, right? Wrong. I worked a full-time job.

What now???

Let me go back the beginning point of all of this, to the seed of thought that instigated a change:

There’s a famous story in the Bible. Christians and non-Christians alike will probably be familiar with the story of how Jesus walked on water. A slightly lesser-known story, perhaps, is that of Peter (one of Jesus’ dsiciples) walking on the water. Jesus was the Son of God, so it was probably a ‘walk in the park’ for Him to set foot on the precarious waves, strolling out to His boat. He had total and utter faith in His Father and God.

But Peter, while a magnificent man, was a flawed human, just like us, and was renowned for his perpetual doubt. He believed in the words of Jesus when his Master told him to step out of the boat (bear in mind that this boat was currently out in the the middle of a lake!!) and come to Him. He stepped out onto the waves. Now, how awesome is that??

But…when Peter doubted, he began to sink, at which point Jesus told him (as He time and time again told the masses of people that listened to him speak during His time on earth) to HAVE FAITH!!

God gave me a theme phrase for this year: RELY ON ME! (“Me” being God). I was busy in the last half of last year, I was quite stressed at times and was learning gradually to lean on God and to turn to Him for strength. But with the hours I was spending at my job along with the stuff that I was doing for various teams in Church, I was still incredibly busy. Something had to give. And it wasn’t going to be Church.

I decided to take a leaf out of Peter’s book.

I quit my job.

Not the most logical thing to do in the midst of a world economic crisis, at least not from a pragmatic, seeing-is-believing point of view. The good thing is, I don’t subscirbe to that viewpoint. Furthermore, at this stage, God had already opened a door for me to work, part-time, at Waves English School, which was started by Jesus Lifehouse.

I’ve just started and I LOVE it!!!

Though the job is not enough money to live off, I know that God will provide for me. I am currently looking for a job, and am not at all worried. Rather, I find myself effortlessly sliding into a typically Kiwi state of mind: “She’ll be right.”

Because I know it will…He promised me it would be. And a girl always trusts the promises of her Daddy.

Anyway, I can’t talk about all of it because it would take so much time to describe how awesome each day of my life is, but I really feel compelled to share about how incredibly happy I am. I was talking to my roommate the other day, about how we can become so easily frustrated with God, particularly when something in our life doesn’t necessarily go the way that we would want it to. In this anger, we forget about all the good things that we have in life, and how amazingly God has blessed us. I tried to sum up my life when I was talking to Kat, one of my roomie’s, the other night, in just a few sentences, and all the things that came out of my mouth were such obvious reasons to praise God!! I am blessed in ABUNDANCE with amazing friends, more than I can handle, almost, because they are all so loving and attentive!!!  I live in a lovley, big old house, next to a Beautiful River, in a peaceful area that is not too far from central Tokyo!!! I have a great job, and amazing students, who are just so sweet and simultaneously, hilarious!! (Teaching English!! I tell ya!! It is, by definition, amusing!!) I have an AMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZING Church that I just love so much and can’t get enough of!! And, despite life’s little worries and fleetings moments of emotionally-charged woe, that pass quickly through God’s help and through the fact that they’re just not worth worrying about, I am NEVER truly worried!! It’s a waste of time and it even says in the Bible that there’s no point worrying about tomorrow!!　Probably says it in a pop song or two also, and Bob Marley sang about it, too…but I can tell you which source has been around for longer!!! The Word of God is SO amazing!! So many people may view it as a ‘Bad Book’, a set of rules, or a list of constraints, a way to make life less fun. The Bible is the COMPLETE OPPOSITE of boring and, rather than finding it full of rules, I’ve found that it is FULL of AWESOME advice!! For anything!!! Problems with co-workers, or with work in general, relationship problems – either familial or in a romantic sense – problems that come BEFORE a relationship has even started (as in, you like THAT guy, but how do you deal with the situation or know if it’s right!!!) – it’s AWESOME!! God, through His Word, has given me so much strength to deal with every worry!!!! I don’t need to think too much about or overanalyse anything (a BIG relief for any woman!!), and just enjoy the feeling of freedom that comes from knowing that GOD is in charge!!!

I just want to share a story from my life that speaks of God’s amazing strength in a situation that is far from everyday. A few months ago, a family friend in NZ took his life. He was a wonderful man, with a Beautiful, Amazing wife and three Amazing daughters. Hearing the news, my first reaction was one of shock and I was actually pretty numb, not even upset, because it didn’t register, and it was in NZ, which is so far away from Japan that it didn’t really feel real.

Then I called my parents.

And they were quiet, but composed. Speaking to my father, a strong Christian, I told him that I believed, deep in my heart, that this man who had passed away was in Heaven.

I believe this because Our God is a loving and compassionate God, not a rigid God of rules, but a personal God who sent His Son Jesus, to BE us, to die for us and to LIVE amongst us so that He could return to Heaven as a representative for us, kind-of like our own Personal Ambassador in Heaven. For that reason, He knows our pain and struggles. This family friend had been dealing with depression and stress for quite some time prior to his death. Jesus KNOWS what it’s like to be us, to live as humans, and he understands our pain. So I think that God examines the circumstances of our lives and doesn’t judge us coldly. I believe that with all of my heart.

When I told my Dad this, that I believed that this dearly beloved friend had gone to be with God, my father broke down and started crying and that was when it really hit me that I was very far, physically, from my parents, during this very difficult time. I felt really sad after that and on the train on the way home, I broke down and was just bawling (the people around me were a bit uncomfortable, I think….). I didn’t really talk much to God about it either. I said that I knew He was with me, but wasn’t bringing myself to Him, so was left feeling extremely sad and depressed.

The next day, I was in Starbucks and was feeling pretty numb still and quite…grey, is probably a good word to describe it. I was reading my Bible and decided to just ask God about it…I’d been lucky enough to be working with a Christian co-worker at Ikebukuro Berlitz earlier in the day and had told her about how I’d been feeling and she’d told me to just ask Him questions and basically have it out with Him…so I did. I cried and asked Him why I was far from my family and why this had happened. He responded. Not with the answers I’d been demanding, but with words that were more than enough and, as is so perfectly God, all that I needed to hear:

“I’m with you.”

Hearing these words, I believed them and surrended myself to His love, and at that moment, I felt such peace and joy and I could feel invisible arms holding me…with my eyes closed, not distracted  by what they could  (visibly) perceive, I was locked in the embrace of a physical, tangible Father.

That occurence was actually some months ago now, but it’s still so fresh and clear in my mind, the comfort of a Heavenly Father, when my own father was physically out-of-reach.

That’s one of the most awesome things about God….He will never leave us nor forsake us (Joshua 1:5). The old Church hymns call Him, “omnipresent,”…in words that I know, He’s right by me, everyday, all day….24/7!!

Hope this story strengthens you.

Love and God bless,

Nicky xxoo

Anyway, so, something really hit me last week, smack in the face and it made me really sad and also really fiery and passionate, cos this thing, this realisation, made my desire to impact for change even STRONGER!!! So, I’m going to tell you what it was, this thing that hit me.

The other day, in my class of uni girls, we were studying personality, and I asked them to write five things that they liked about themselves, and they really struggled. It made me quite sad, and I realised how little understanding these Precious Girls have of the TRUTH that they are Princesses!! I tell them all the time, and they smile and want to believe, but many just can’t.

BUT….the good news is….I have been privileged to be their teacher, and I truly feel that, through teaching them and encouraging them, I can help them to see their own worth, and hopefully, they will be able to see how much I love myself (in a non-narcissistic way!!), because of how much JESUS loves me!!! I explained awhile ago, to some of the girls, about how I became a Christian and how God has really increased my self-esteem SOOOOO much, and many were moved and one of my Princesses, Rina-chan, even cried!!! She is soooo amazing and cute, and I really love teaching her!! She is also obsessed with High School Musical and it cracks me up…she even did a brief dance for me the other day, hahaha….was very impressed!!

Anyway…in addition to that one day (on which My Princesses struggled to write down five things that they actually liked about themselves), the other day, a couple of my Young Ladies asked me to go to class “スッピン” (suppin), which means with no make-up on. Being me, I DID put concealer under my eyes, as I didn’t want to make any children cry, hahaha…but seriously!! Anyway, concealer aside, I went to uni natural/fresh-faced. I feel so sleepy when I don’t wear mascara, but it didn’t really bother me.

In class, the girls were SO sweet and all told me that I still looked beautiful and that I didn’t need mascara, as my lashes were still long. SO kind and I thanked them a lot (another thing I’m trying to teach them…don’t say, “No, no, no…” when you receive a compliment, just say THANK-YOU!! They’re learning, too!!), then one of my Angels, Noriko, said something that broke my heart, “Gaijin no suppin ha kirei ne, nihon jin nante!!” (“Foreigners look beautiful without make-up! Stuff being Japanese!!” Or something to that effect!!)

The thing that she DIDN’T understand was that JAPANESE WOMEN TAUGHT ME TO BEAUTIFUL!! That may sound a bit odd, so let me go back to the beginning!! When I first came here, I was pretty down and stuck in a mindset of endless comparisons, comparing others’ bodies to mine, their hair, their skin, everything!!! I used to strongly resent Japanese women for their bold femininity and for the fact that they are shamelessly, undeniably WOMEN!! The make-up is often flawless, they have amazing skin, their EYES are beautiful, their hair is SO shiny (…and straight!! My uni friends in particular will understand the importance of this physical trait!!) – I was overcome with jealousy. I wasn’t comfortable in my own skin as a woman, and fought that image, seeing it as a source of weakness. To be so feminine, in my mind, equated to being weak and frail.

I couldn’t have been more wrong. Though I know my own beauty lies in my heart and it’s manifestation in the way that I speak, act, and hold myself, I have also come to understand that expertly-applied eyeliner, prettily decorated fingernails, and high heels on a daily basis, though not so much a part of Kiwi Women’s Culture, are actually quite nice. Having learned this and learned, through God and through the environment that I’ve been blessed to be placed in (Nihon, My LOVE!!), I’ve learned to be softer and more indulgent of my own femininity!!

So, to have this Beautiful, Beautiful Young Woman (and she really is GORGEOUS!!) be sitting there, casting off her own ethnicity, believing her appearance to be inferior to that of other women, was just SO sad. I told them all that they are SO beautiful, and I will continue to tell them, every class if I can, that they are SOOOOOOOOOOO amazingly, wonderfully, stunningly, uniquely GORGEOUS, until the day that I can get them to stand up and declare that over themselves.

And YOU, reading this right now, YOU are BREATHTAKING!! You are so beautiful, and were created with so much love and care, and any negative things that you may be thinking about YOUR appearance, forget about them. You’re hot. Love it. And love yourself. Because you are LOVED.

With Beautiful Rina and Beautiful Yuriko at English Club!

Atomi 2nd Year Students/Princesses!

More 2nd Year Atomi Students/Princesses

Beautiful Japanese Girls at Sarah and Shinsuke

Comfortable in our Own Skin: Eri and Nicky!

Even MORE Beautiful Atomi Students/Princesses

Purity, Confidence, BEAUTY: Na-chan and Yoppy!!

The Ultimate Example of Selflessness

The other day, I was doing my journalling (reading my Bible and writing about what spoke to me as I was reading), and I was reading in the book of Matthew about Jesus. He was a very busy guy during His time on Earth and, as so many of us do leading such busy lives, he also needed time away from people, time to take a breather, and to just unwind. So, on one particular day, he took a boat to a secluded little bay on a lake, and planned to just have some quiet time, popular culture would call this “Me Time”. The thing is, though, a bunch of sick and needy people came to Him, people that wanted healing, that REQUIRED of Him…His time, His energy, His attention, a sacrifice of Himself.

Up until this point, as I was reading, I really had a feeling of, “I hear ya, brother!!”, because I live a very busy life in Tokyo and sometimes feel the need to take time out, away from the crowds. But what happened next really hit me right in the gut…..

You see, had this been me, and these people coming to me, my reaction would have been one of, “Oh maaaaan…..” and I would’ve felt frustration and only given my time somewhat begrudgingly, thinking, “I JUST wanted this time to myself, to DO the things I NEED to get done….”

Man, was I shocked when I read Jesus response to them: “He was overcome with pity and healed their sick.” (Matthew 14:14 – The Message Bible)

This amazed me so much!! That my reaction would have probably been so lacking in love, so focused on  myself and on my priorities and that Jesus’ reaction was so selfless, so FOCUSED on what the people around Him needed!!!

Chucking Out The List

We had Bec Crozier from Jesus Lifehouse in Osaka visiting Tokyo this past weekend, and she spoke to our Life Group about the difference between serving on teams at Church out of grace, out of love for God, and serving “because we have to”. If we’re doing the things that we do out of obligation, then there’s no joy in them and we find that we aren’t really loving in what we do. But if we take rest when and where we can (Matthew 11:28), we’ll find renewed strength to face the day. Everyone gets tired…don’t you sometimes just feel so exhausted? That there’s too much to do? That you’ll never be finished and just when you think you’re on top things, when you’ve finished one list and there’s a moment of freedom, having overcome that hurdle, another list pops up and before you know it you’re in over your head once again and feeling so overwhelmed. I used to feel that way all the time. Now, those moments are getting more and more rare, as I’m learning more and more to take rest, not necessarily in a physical way (though that is importantly), but rather in a
spiritual (and mental) sense.

The most important thing that Bec taught me that day was to throw away the list. Sometimes you’ll have a mental list, a whole bunch of tasks that you need to get done in a particular time slot, maybe a day off or a free evening. Then a friend comes to you and they need you in that moment. You have a choice. You can either say no, as they’re sure to understand about your “list” and how busy you are and, knowing all this, they won’t want to inconvenience you. No harm done. Or…you can choose to just get rid of the list, cast it out of your mind, and dedicate this time to your friend. Sacrifice your time to GIVE a little to them. You’ll be surprised how relaxed and uplifted you’ll feel and what’s more, your friend will be immensely blessed by our selfless and loving attitude.

All well and good, but what’s it like in action?

Yesterday, I was so sleepy when I went to work. I hadn’t had enough sleep, but made my way to uni, taught my lessons and came home, tired, but glad to have the afternoon off before Life Group. And there, at the fore of my mind, was my list, the list of things that I needed to do that afternoon, things that simply couldn’t wait, not for anyone or anything:

1. Do laundry

2. Clean the laundry

3. Do my journalling

4. Do my abdominal exercises

5. Write on my blog

6. Nap!!

Getting off the train, I was instantly greeted by my friend, Satomi-chan, who was also on her way home. For a  few weeks, Satomi had wanted me to help her to write a reply, in English, to her sponsor child in Africa, who had written to her some time ago. I wanted to go home and get stuff done, but I made the decision to go with Satomi to Mister Donuts, and help her with her English. So we went, and Beautiful Satomi blessed me by buying coffee and a donut for me. As we headed there, I was mentally calculating up a storm, thinking, “Well, it’s 3:30pm now, so if I stay for an hour, I’ll still be able to get stuff done this afternoon…maybe I’ll just have to shorten my nap….”

We then proceeded to chat and snack and were about to start the letter-writing when we spotted two young women and we began talking to them, and invited them to the J-Life Christmas Train Rally. As we spoke more we found out that one of them was an esthetician and the other, a young mother, who would be getting married the following weekend. As we spoke to them more about Jesus Lifehouse, played them some Hillsong Music on my MP3-Player (the rock music is a total shock to the system, many young people’s response is one of absolute amazement….”This is CHURCH MUSIC???”), and invited them to Church, JLH events, and Mama’s Life (The West Tokyo Mum’s Ministry…a great support for mothers and their children, run by Patti every Tuesday in Higashikurume!!), they became more and more excited and when they left, having exchanged phone numbers with Satomi, they were happy, smiling and laughing, and promising to come to Church events!!

After that, I noticed a woman observing me with determined focus, I smiled at her, but she didn’t smile back. Rather, she seemed to exude sadness, and my heart went out to her. As she got up to left, Satomi and I quickly walked over to her and invited her to Church. We found out that her name was Eiko and that she lives in Hibarigaoka, so we told her about the Saturday night service (Hibarigaoka Muse Hall, 2 minutes walk from the North Exit of Hibarigaoka Station, from 6pm!), and she said that she wanted to come, and, basically, that she would come. It was great to see her face being transformed as we spoke to her. The vacant stare had barely disguised the fearful state of her heart as we’d approached her, but as we left, she was smiling and her eyes seemed a little brighter. I’m PRAYING for these three beautiful woman, and I feel so blessed to have met them.
But you know what? Had I not chosen to discard my list, we never would have met these women and given them a chance to find out about Jesus and the joy and rest that can be found in Him. I headed home at 5:30pm, deliriously happy in the amazing opportunities that God provides for us to meet people and to have a chance to show them the joy in our hearts and the source of our Light.

Satomi-chan and I, June 2008.